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Part 8 - Examples of Great Objectives Examples - Template, Good and Bad Writing. Learning to write often works best by example. The following are excerpts from nine first-year student essays. Most of the examples are bad, although I did find a two good examples in Free Tennessee the bunch. In most cases, the names and dates from the essays have been changed to Objectives - Template, not compromise the subject matter for future students (in other words, don't use any of the Sample Letter Examples In Pdf,, apparent research information here in your papers). Resume Objectives Examples! I have tried to categorize the errors as best as I could. Sample Of Employment - 9+ In Pdf,! Errors or bad portions are usually bolded to Resume Objectives Examples, help you identify them. Smith was a religious, Christian man. Student Nurse A Perfect! His notion of monads included contextual references to God. Resume Objectives! He believed that God controls the harmony of life through these monads.
The essay then goes on to discuss these monads in a Christian context. Had the Free Tennessee | Word, student omitted the above sentences, however, the Resume Objectives, discussion of religion would have been completely out of place, given the essay's topic. But since the person being discussed had religious views that affected his theories and work, it is Of Purpose For A relevant to mention the religious aspect. Had Smith's religion not been a direct influence on Great Objectives Examples - Template his work, it would have been irrelevant. Similarly, you wouldn't mention other things about someone in an essay if it wasn't relevant to the topic. For example, it is Of Employment Word irrelevant to mention a scientist's race in Great Objectives an essay about their discovery unless the race impacted the discovery. An example of this might be if a black scientist's prime motivation to find a cure for sickle cell anemia was because that disease strikes black people in proportionally higher numbers. If the same scientist was researching some aspect of physics, it would probably not be relevant to mention the Engineering Cover Letter Template Carpinteria, race at all. An introductory paragraph: On March 4, 1849, John Smith was born to Great Resume - Template, Anna Bradcock Smith and James Smith. Although certainly not of humble origins, John was acquainted with several prominent and influential men of politics with whom he discussed matters of mathematics, history, science, logic, law, and Free | Word (.doc), theology.
Smith was brilliant in each of these fields, but he became known particularly for his contributions in the fields of philosophy, mathematics, and logistics. This paper will not only Resume Objectives Examples - Template, shed light on Free Tennessee Commercial Lease | Word (.doc) some of Resume - Template, Smith's theories and words regarding these three areas, but will also tell of the events in his life that made him the man that he was. This is the introduction to a chronologically-ordered essay about Smith's life and discoveries. As such, the choice to begin with his date of birth is a good one. The paragraph summarizes the fields touched by A Letter To The Love - Valery, Smith and also mentions the key areas he studied. Resume - Template! The paper sets up an Engineering Internship Cover Letter Rural, expectation for the reader of Great Objectives, both a detailed explanation of Smith's discoveries and anecdotes describing his personality. The sentence structure is grammatically sound and flows well.
In the late 1650's , Smith's mother returned to London , she then pulled him out of school with the intent to make him a farmer . Apostrophes indicate possessiveness or contractions, not plurality. The decade is the 1650s. The sentence is a run-on. It should either end after London, beginning a new sentence with She then, or the she then should be changed to and. To make someone a farmer is to create a farmer for Sample In Pdf, them. The student meant: to turn him into a farmer or to encourage him to be a farmer. Smith invented the widgetiscope and paved the way for future widget watching. All-the-while remaining a simple and humble man who considered himself to be part of Examples - Template, a team working for the greater good. The bolded part is Of Employment Examples Word not a complete sentence. The entire thing should be one sentence. All-the-while does not require hyphenation.
The two differing approaches of development already described, eventually led to Great Resume - Template, the development of the two original branches of widgetry; fingleish and Resignation Letter For Job Resignation Letter For School, fnordleish. This sentence is mispunctuated. The comma is confusing and Objectives, should be removed, and the semicolon should be a colon. Another of Smith's ideas was the Statement Of Purpose For A Restaurant? | Your, method of differentiation. The university re-opened after the plague in 1667. Smith was elected to a minor fellowship, and awarded a major fellowship after he received his Master's Degree (Bogus 4). After the realization that Calculus was important, and was being recognized, a document to record all of the theories became a necessity. The Methodis Differantium, the document that contained the elements of the Resume Objectives Examples - Template, theory of differentiation, was created in 1667. Smith believed he was being pulled in two directions when it came to publishing his theories and making his work known.
He felt a need for fame and fortune, yet on the other hand he had an abundant fear of rejection. To the Sample Letter Examples In Pdf, Word, dismay of many future mathematicians, it was never published because of Resume Examples - Template, Smith's fear of criticism. What Is A Statement Of Purpose For A Business! Since he was not focusing on publishing his work, Smith pursued his career as a professor. This so-called paragraph is an utter mess. There are far too many ideas in it, all of Great Resume Objectives - Template, which are strung together haphazardly without any logical flow. I'll try to dissect and rewrite it, but I won't make errors bold because the entire paragraph would be bold if I did. First, let's pick out the different topics being addressed: the method of differentiation the university re-opening after the plague Smith's ascension through the university ranks the need of a document detailing differentiation, which was eventually created Smith's mental state, desires and fears.
Now, if we replace each sentence with the number of the corresponding idea, we can see what a jumbled mess this is: 1, 2, 3, 4, 4, 5, 5, 4, 3. Don't introduce a paragraph with one topic and then leap to another topic in the next sentence. Letter Of Employment - 9+ Word! While it may sometimes be necessary to mention something as an aside to complement the topic, the return to the topic should be swift and Great Resume Objectives Examples, easy to understand. Don't bounce around within the paragraph as this student has done. Another problem: there doesn't seem to Sample Letter Of Employment - 9+, be a coherent timeline within the paragraph. Did the university re-open in 1667, or was the plague in 1667? Is the student saying that Smith was elected to a minor fellowship that year or another year? Similarly, when did the major fellowship and Master's Degree come in? It's unlikely to have all happened in one year, though it is possible. The document was created in 1667, it seems, but when did Smith decide not to publish and seek work as a professor instead?
Also 1667? It sounds like that was a very busy year for poor Smith! The sentences themselves are also awkwardly constructed, making the entire thing hard to Great Resume Objectives, understand. I'll make some assumptions regarding the confusing date information. Here is how this information should have been presented: Smith's ideas on the method of differentiation were gaining recognition in the mathematical community, which made it necessary for him to produce a document detailing all of his theories on the subject. Internship Template Rural! Thus, when the university re-opened in 1667 following the Objectives Examples - Template, plague and Smith was elected to a minor fellowship, he wrote Methodis Differantium. Although Smith wished to attain fame and fortune, he also feared rejection.
This dichotomy resulted in his failure to publish Methodis Differantium; a failure that would be mourned by mathematicians well into the future. Still, Smith was awarded a major fellowship after receiving his Master's Degree in [insert year]. Since he was not interested in publishing his work, he concentrated instead on pursuing a position as a professor. Queen Esmerelda knighted Jones in 1705 to be given the title of Sir Joe Smith, which made him the first scientist to be so honored for his work (Bogus) . The phrase to be given is awkward here. It would be better written: Queen Esmerelda knighted Jones in 1705, which gave him the title of Sir. Who else could be honoured for Smith's work other than Smith? It should say: . Commercial Lease Agreement | Pdf | Word (.doc)! which made him the Great Objectives Examples, first man to be honored for scientific work.
There probably should be a page number listed in the citation. Jones had a main idea of analytic geometry. What does this mean? Does the student mean that one of Jones' main ideas concerned analytic geometry? Does he mean that one of the main ideas of analytic geometry was conceived by Jones? Or does he mean something else entirely? This makes little sense and is very awkward. Whether Smith made no use of the manuscript from which he had copied abstracts , or whether he had previously invented the widgetiscope, are questions on which at this distance of time no direct evidence is available . If Smith made no use of the manuscript, he can't have used it to copy abstracts. This is a very awkward way of Sample Letter Of Employment Word, saying that the events in Resume Objectives question happened so long ago that there is no longer sufficient evidence to answer certain questions. It would be better written:
Questions as to whether Smith made further use of the manuscript from which he copied abstracts or whether he had previously invented the widgetiscope are rooted so far in the past that it is impossible to gather sufficient direct evidence to provide answers. This is still a bit awkward. It's best when broken up into smaller sentences: There are still questions as to whether Smith made further use of the manuscript from Nurse Free A Perfect which he copied abstracts or whether he had previously invented the widgetiscope. Such questions are rooted so far in the past, however, that it is impossible to gather sufficient direct evidence to Great Objectives Examples, provide answers. Smith formed a political plan to try to persuade the Germans to attack the French due to him not agreeing with their political agendas and this proved the means of Student Resume Template Free Resume Sample A Perfect, his visiting Hamburg. Due to him not agreeing with is a very awkward way of saying: because he disagreed with. Great Objectives Examples! The second bolded part should be a separate sentence. Proved the Agreement | Word (.doc), means of his visiting is a very awkward way of Objectives Examples, saying is | Word why he visited. Jones explained ideas too enormous to understand, and simplified problems too complex to approach. Not only is this hyperbole, it's also logically impossible.
If the ideas were too complicated to understand, Jones couldn't have understood them himself. Resume Objectives - Template! If the problems were too complex to approach, Jones could not have approached them. Mismatched Words, Phrases, and Pronouns. After marrying Elizabeth, Smith's father fell ill for several months. After no sign of recovery, a lawyer was summoned to the manor. A will was drawn up, including one hundred acres of Commercial Lease Agreement | Word (.doc), land, the manor house, livestock, grain, and Smith Senior's death (Bogus 10). His mother gave birth to Smith three months after Smith senior died. He was premature after suffering from illness due to the shock of her husband's passing during the fall . The phrase after no sign of recovery is not properly attached to Smith's father.
Instead, it is Resume Objectives saying that the lawyer did not recover from something. To The Man I Love - Valery! A will does not include land, a house, etc. It states to whom such things are bequeathed. This should say: A will was drawn up leaving one hundred acres of land, the manor house, livestock and grain to [whomever]. Resume Objectives Examples - Template! I don't even understand how and Smith Senior's death fits into this sentence. His in the sentence His mother gave birth. refers to the antecedent Smith Senior. Thus, Smith Senior's mother gave birth to Smith Senior's son. That would necessitate incest, and is clearly not what the Sample - 9+ In Pdf, Word, student meant to say. They should have simply said Elizabeth gave birth.
Who else but someone's mother gives birth to them anyway? Given the confusions regarding the various Smiths, it would have been better if the Resume - Template, student had used first names during this part of the essay. There is inconsistency in capitalization. It is Letter Format: Letter For School Smith Senior once, and Smith senior another time. The he in he was premature again refers to the wrong antecedent. Great Objectives - Template! Smith Senior was not premature. Smith did not suffer illness due to the shock of Free Lease Agreement | Pdf (.doc), Smith Senior's passing.
Elizabeth did. This sentence says that Smith suffered the illness. The student suddenly introduces the phrase during the fall when no other mention of the season has been made. This could be confused with Smith Senior dying from a fall. Lastly, the inverse relationship between area and Great Resume Objectives Examples - Template, the tangent were never attained. The relationship is singular, even though it refers to multiple elements. What Is A | Your! Thus, the Great Objectives Examples, verb were should be singular as well, and changed to A Letter To The - Valery Novoselsky, was. It was this century where many of the worlds most honorable and highly respected mathematicians created what we know today as calculus. A century is not a place, it is a section of time. Say it is a place where. or a time when.
In this case, It was this century when. Adding an 's' without an apostrophe in this case is pluralization, not indicative of Great, possession. The student means world's. But perhaps the largest obstacle , which the Greeks could not overcome, were their insufficient number and measuring system . Were is plural, but obstacle and system are singular. It should be was. Tragically at the age of six, Smith's father died. This says that Smith's father died at the age of six.
The student means: Tragically, when Smith was six years old his father died. Jones, now familiar with Smith's discoveries, wrote Smith a letter soon after the publication of his discoveries. After the publication of whose discoveries: Jones' or Smith's? Jones reasoned that if he could calculate the angles of the projected colour, a new law of refraction could be made . People can make legal laws, but natural or scientific laws are discovered. To make a new law of refraction, Jones would have to alter physics. During the seventeenth century, the inhabitants of England did not realize the importance of scientific advancement. Inhabitants could well mean non-human creatures, and is thus a poor choice of Tennessee Commercial Lease, a word. Are we to understand that ALL of the people in England failed to realize the importance of scientific advancement for an entire century? It would have been better if the student had said most people in Resume Objectives Examples - Template England. At the current time, the dominant belief was that light traveled in wave . The current time is the moment the reader is reading the sentence. Tennessee Agreement | Word (.doc)! The student meant to say that the belief was such during the historical time period being discussed.
Current should be omitted. The phrase in wave has an error. Objectives - Template! It should either be in waves or in a wave. Nurse Free Nursing Resume A Perfect! Both may be correct, but such an - Template, error can be misunderstood if one is Resignation Letter incorrect. This would likely have been caught if the student had read the Great Resume Objectives, paper out What loud. Secondly, Jones' reliance on geometric algebra rather than symbolic notation created considerable impedance to the identification of solutions of computational features found frequently to different problems.
Here is an example of Great Resume, a student not knowing the proper meaning of a word. Impedance means opposition to Letter - 9+ Examples In Pdf,, the flow of electric current. Resume Objectives - Template! It does not mean the same as to impede, which is to be an obstacle. This could be an instance where a student used the thesaurus in Man I Love a word processor to Great Examples, come up with a word without bothering to check if the word fit the context. It could also simply be that the student had mislearned the word themselves. Incidentally, a quick check of Tennessee Agreement | Pdf | Word, MS Word 97 shows synonyms to Examples - Template, impedance to be obstruction, block, baffle, hindrance, breakwater, fin, and maze. So here is direct proof that you shouldn't always trust what a word processor thesaurus tells you is an equivalent word. Cover Letter Template! Be diligent and look up unfamiliar words in the dictionary before using them in your essay.
In studying widgetry, it serves as great importance that one is Resume aware of the Sample Letter Examples, two systems of Great Examples - Template, widgetry; fingleish and fnordleish. Something does not serve as great importance, and one being aware doesn't fit either. This is Man I Love a student trying to sound fancy but instead making no sense. The sentence should read: In studying widgetry, one should be aware of the two systems of widgetry; fingleish and Objectives Examples - Template, fnordleish. It was thought that Jones hated his stepfather and his mother, partly for abandoning him at such a young age. Who thought so?
This entire statement, which implies something that cannot be proven and is thus not a basic fact, had no attribution in the essay. A Letter Man I Love - Valery Novoselsky! Since it was about someone historical and Great Resume Examples - Template, the student couldn't possibly have known this unless they got it from a source, it was plagiarism to include it without attribution. Smith managed one friendship through this time and the value of that is always questioned. Who is questioning the value? There is A Letter Love - Valery no attribution to explain who questions it or to prove that it is questioned by anyone other than the student. What precisely is Objectives - Template being questioned?
The value of only having one friend, or the value of the one friendship to Smith in particular? . which means that the cut in the # of points is equal to Student Resume A Perfect, the degree of the curve. Using the # symbol instead of the word number is a bad short cut, and Resume Examples - Template, certainly inappropriate for a formal essay. Smith also helped to improve the Engineering Internship Letter, scientific community ; his focus was mainly regarding widgetry. How does a focus on a subject help to improve a community? It might improve the understanding of the subject in the community, but does that improve the Great Resume Objectives, community itself? This is a badly worded assertion. If it truly did benefit the scientific community as a whole, the student should cite a source demonstrating that to be the case. No attribution was present. In one day, John's attitude towards school changed for the better.
A boy ranked just above him kicked him in the stomach. At the end of the day John challenged the Template Rural, boy to a fight. Even though John was much smaller than his opponent, his determination overtook the boy. Winning the fight was still not enough. John applied himself in class, and soon became the top student in the school. This entire paragraph introduces an anecdote for the purpose of explaining what drove John to Great Resume Objectives Examples, become a better student. Incredibly, it manages to completely fail to mention the relationship between the anecdote and John's new-found classroom enthusiasm. Letter For Job Letter For School! The relationship is implied and Resume Objectives Examples - Template, the reader can guess that John wished to beat the boy in more than just a physical fight, and thus worked hard to outrank the boy in the classroom, but that is What Statement Of Purpose | Your Business not stated. The paragraph is very choppy and Great Resume Objectives Examples, the sentences do not flow well. Read it out loud, and you'll hear how it sounds like a grade school book instead of a university essay.
During this time, Smith constructed a water clock. He constructed the clock out of an old box. This is choppy. It could be easily combined into one sentence. Jones became began to study motion. This error was probably due to a sentence that once legitimately contained the word became being edited without became being removed. If the Free Lease | Pdf (.doc), student had read the essay out loud or given it to a friend to read, this error likely would have been noticed.
Yet, in 1679, Jones would discover that his initial calculation the Moon's distance from Earth was incorrect. Here is another example of a simple error of omission that could have been caught if the student had read the essay aloud or given it to Great Objectives - Template, a friend to read. The word of A Letter Man I Love - Valery Novoselsky, should be between calculation and the. That one small error makes the entire sentence awkward and confusing. If the instructor has to reread the sentence to try to understand its meaning, the flow of the essay is Resume Objectives interrupted. If this happens often enough in the essay, it gives an overall bad impression on what otherwise might be a very good paper in terms of research.
More examples of errors that could have been caught if the students had bothered to read their essay: One of Smith's main contribution was his use of. Widgetry emphasized the notion of the infinite widget, which in fact cam as a great service to Engineering Internship Letter Carpinteria Rural, Smith in that it served as an important too in helping explain his branch of widgetry. Jones might have in fact perputuated the ideas, but he was also at a loss when he could not make good sense of them from the Objectives, beginning. Admiration for Smith grew in Tennessee Lease Agreement | Pdf (.doc) the filed of widgetry. With Jones' encouragement, Smith drafter a number of monographs on religious topics. Smith considers out universe to be a gravitational system.
On August 10, 1777, Jones was ent a letter from. In later research , it was proven that Jones was incorrect and science rejected his theories about light until the next century. Thus, it was scientifically proven that Jones' theories about quanta (tiny particulate packets of energy) were indeed correct . The wave formulation was also correct . When was this later research? Who performed the research? In discussing whether someone was proven incorrect or not, it is a good idea to Great, fully explain who did the proving when, and possibly even how they came to their conclusion. These sentences contradict each other.
Was Jones proven incorrect or correct? Does the student mean that Jones was erroneously proven incorrect, but science later found that he was correct after all? Or was Jones correct about some things and not others? The use of Cover Letter Template Carpinteria Rural, Thus implies causality. How does the proof that Jones is incorrect and the rejection by science suddenly become scientific proof of his theory being correct? Regardless of Resume Objectives - Template, what the student meant by the flip from Of Purpose For A | Your Business incorrect to correct, there is nothing given to establish causality. It's disappointing to see such sloppiness as this in an essay.
This particular essay featured clipart, so it was obviously done on Objectives - Template a computer with a modern word processor. Letter Letter! It clearly wasn't spell-checked. Such complete disregard is automatically indicative of a student who doesn't care about their final product, and while the error itself is minor, it gives a bad impression to the grader. Objectives Examples - Template! In fact, this essay had several spelling errors that could have been caught. That's inexcusable at the university level. It was also during this time that he traveled to Resignation Letter Format: For Job Letter, his uncle's place in Brunswick. Place is colloquial. Great! Use home, apartment, residence or other such appropriate word instead. Smith attempted to To The Love, obtain his doctorate of law degree at the University of Anytown but was denied because positions were being held for Great Objectives the older students -- and Smith was much too young. Smith's secretary claims that he was told many times, however, that Smith was denied admission because of negative feelings that the Dean's wife held for him. Smith's secretary is probably dead, since this essay is Of Purpose Restaurant? | Your Business about someone from the 19th century.
Therefore, they no longer claim anything. It should be past tense. Since the student doesn't cite this, there is an Great Objectives Examples, implication that perhaps the Statement Of Purpose Restaurant? | Your Business, secretary is not dead and the student went so far as to interview the Great Resume Objectives Examples, secretary personally. That is, of course, quite unlikely, meaning that this student has plagiarised this information from Resignation Letter For Job Resignation For School one of their sources. The following are a few concepts that form the Examples - Template, basis of Sample In Pdf,, Leibnizian calculus: [followed by three bulleted paragraphs comprised mostly of direct quotation] Using bullets in a formal essay is rarely appropriate. It is preferable to - Template, write out the bulleted information into proper paragraph form.
This student seems to have been too lazy to bother paraphrasing a bunch of direct quotations into a formal essay structure. Along came the Joe Smith, a mathematician considered by numerous scholars to be a pioneer of Internship Letter Template, calculus, including other renowned mathematician, Bill Jones. The Joe Smith? There has only Resume, been one? The student means another, not other. Statement Restaurant? | Your Business! Sloppy. The first page of the essay starts with: have been developed (5).
The second page starts with the header Introduction and the opening paragraph. Clearly, the student stapled the pages out of order. What a sloppy mistake! Pages should be numbered unless you're specifically instructed not to Resume Examples, for some reason, and you should always ensure that all of the pages are present and in proper order before binding the essay. If the instructor has to begin by figuring out what the heck is Resume Template Free Resume Sample A Perfect going on, they will automatically have a bad impression of Great Resume Objectives Examples, your essay and possibly of you. Jones was quite a busy man in that along with his position in the Court of Mainz, he also managed to serve as Baron Johann Christian von Boineburg as secretary, librarian, lawyer, advisor, assistant, and most importantly, friend.
Quite a busy man is a bit colloquial. Letter Resignation Letter For School! A busy man would do. The first as is an error, since Jones did not serve as the Great, Baron, he served the Baron. Resignation Letter For Job Letter! This may have been caught if the student had read their essay out loud. His Chummy, Bill Jones, who Smith shared a room with until his resignation from Examples this fellowship in Resignation 1683. Chummy should only be included if it was Smith's actual word for Jones. If this is the Resume Objectives Examples - Template, case, it is a quotation from To The Man I - Valery Novoselsky a source and should be cited. If not, it is Great Resume Objectives Examples - Template colloquial and Letter Format: For Job, should just say His friend Bill Jones. Who should be whom in this case.
A site called Grammar and Style has information on how to use who and whom. This isn't even a complete sentence. Smith was born prematurely and was so small when he was born that they thought he might not live. Repeating that he was born is redundant. Examples - Template! Who does they refer to? Doctors?
Parents? Relatives? Townsfolk? It is a pronoun without an antecedent. In this publication, Jones has a discourse between the belief systems of the natural philosophical world around him. Has is the To The Love - Valery, wrong word here because the Resume Objectives - Template, essay is about a person who is Sample Letter Of Employment In Pdf, Word now dead. Great Objectives Examples! Dead people don't have discourse with anyone in the present, so the Sample Of Employment - 9+ Examples Word, word should at least be had. But even had is awkward, and a better word would be wrote. Discourse means to converse, especially orally.
One does not speak orally in a publication. It is written. This word should be omitted. Between denotes at least two participants, but Jones is the only one having the supposed discourse. Great Resume! This too should be omitted. Natural philosophical world is confusing.
Does the student mean the natural, philosophical world, which would be the world described as both natural and philosophical? Or do they mean natural philosophical world, in which natural modifies philosophical and not world, in which case the grammatically correct phrase would be naturally philosophical world? This would be better written as: In this publication, Jones wrote of the belief systems of the Sample Letter - 9+ Word, natural, philosophical world around him. or, depending on the answer to the fourth point: In this publication, Jones wrote of the belief systems of the naturally philosophical world around him.
He was home for approximately 18 months, according to Jones the 18 months was the most predominant time period of his life. This is Objectives - Template a run-on sentence. It should either end between 18 months and according, or it should be rewritten to make it a proper sentence. 18 months is repeated for no reason. 18 months is plural, so it should be 18 months were not 18 months was. Predominant means superior especially in power or numbers. Engineering Internship Cover Carpinteria Rural! Something cannot be most superior. Most should be omitted. Predominant is not the Great Resume Examples - Template, best word in this case anyway. If the student means it was the Free Commercial Lease | Pdf | Word, most powerful time of Jones' life, they should be clear about that. Objectives Examples - Template! If they mean it was the most superior numerical time of his life, then he logically cannot have been more than 36 months old.
Simpson was content after his ability to reproduce Smith's experiment. Jones was not that easy, the What Statement Of Purpose Restaurant? | Your Business, two men fought constantly. The student probably means that Simpson was content once he was able to reproduce Smith's experiment. The current phrasing doesn't quite say that, and is awkward and confusing. Jones was not that easy to what? The student probably means Jones was not that easy to satisfy or something equivalent. This is a run-on sentence.
It should end after easy, or be rewritten to be grammatically correct. Resume Objectives - Template! Which two men? Simpson and Jones or Smith and Jones? The information on physics before this section is important to understanding whom Newton was, but arguably, his greatest advancements were in | Word the field of mathematics, most importantly Calculus. Incorrect use of whom.
Should be who. A site called Grammar and Style has information on Resume how to use who and whom. There should not be a comma between arguably and his. There is no citation as to anyone arguing that Newton's greatest advancements were in mathematics. This might be because it would be difficult to prove in Sample Of Employment - 9+ In Pdf, the face of the importance of Newtonian physics. Great Resume Objectives Examples! Advancements is probably the Is A Of Purpose For A | Your Business, wrong word. Achievements or discoveries would be better.
Newton's advancements are more likely to be funds paid in Great Objectives - Template advance of publication. The addition of most importantly is Engineering Internship Cover Template awkward. Particularly would have been a better word. The use of greatest and most importantly referring to Resume Objectives Examples, Calculus is hyperbole. Given that this essay was for What For A Restaurant? Business a Calculus class, it sounds like a kiss-up.
The declarations of superiority are superfluous, unattributed, probably erroneous, and possibly pandering. It's all very ugly. A concluding sentence: Smith's great work, theories, and studies will continue to live on forever in the ever-changing world of science and Great Examples, mathematics . How can the student know that Smith's work will live on Letter - 9+ In Pdf, forever? That's an impossible assertion to make. Work, theories and studies don't live. They exist, but they are not organic creatures. If the Great Resume Objectives, world is ever-changing, how again can the student know that Smith's work won't one day be considered nonsense?
Or lost entirely? World is singular, but it refers to A Letter To The - Valery, two worlds, one of science and one of mathematics. This conclusion reeks of hyperbole. Great Objectives Examples! (So does the phrase reeks of hyperbole, but this is not a formal essay.) A scientist before Smith by the name of Jones knew that he could demonstrate the ration between two infinite sums. The phrasing here is a bit awkward. It would be better phrased: Jones, a predecessor of Smith, knew that.
Ration is the wrong word. Free Tennessee Lease (.doc)! The student meant ratio. This is Resume Examples - Template one of those errors that a spell-check cannot find, but if the essay had been read aloud it may have been noticed. One man was proclaiming to be the inventor of the widgetiscope and another man was proclaiming the exact same thing; who is telling the Sample, truth? The main problem here is the change in tense. You can't go from Great Resume Examples - Template was to is if the Free Lease | Word (.doc), subject remains fixed in Great Resume Objectives Examples time. Furthermore, it is incorrect to What Is A For A Business, refer to someone who is dead as doing anything in the present besides being dead (and possibly rotting). A dead person is not telling anything right now, but they were in the past. Try to avoid using the passive form was proclaiming and instead use proclaimed. This particular statement is Examples also bad because of the subject matter.
The student has already shown in the essay that both men happened to independently invent the widgetiscope, but the Free Nursing Resume Sample A Perfect, issue is who deserved the title for inventing it first . So actually, neither one was necessarily lying, and the student should not make it appear that one or the other may have been doing so. You must be careful not to libel people. The phrasing here is awkward and possibly a bit too conversational in the final question. A better way of writing this would be: Two men proclaimed to Examples - Template, be the inventor of calculus, but only one could be given the credit. The argument was so drawn out that a decision was not easy to come by which worked against Smith's favor. Jones had been considered the sole inventor of the widgetiscope for fifteen years already, which gave him the upper hand. The student meant to say that the Free | Pdf, duration of the argument caused Smith to lose. But because the student failed to put the necessary comma between the bolded words, this sentence actually says, by Objectives Examples - Template, means of a complicated string of What Statement Of Purpose Restaurant? | Your Business, multiple negatives, that it was not easy to come to Great Examples, a decision against Smith, meaning he won. This sentence would be better worded this way: Because the Student Template Resume Sample A Perfect, argument took so long, Smith lost.
But then, at the beginning of the next paragraph, the student writes: The argument took years to unravel and never really came to a definitive decision. This negates what the student had asserted before: that Smith lost because of the duration of the argument. Examples - Template! This also repeats the fact that it was a long argument, which is Resignation Letter For School redundant. It was from the Greeks, where the underlying of Resume - Template, widgetry emerged and set the Engineering Internship Cover, basis of Resume Objectives Examples - Template, what widgetry has become. The Greeks are a people, not a place, so things come from Student Resume Free A Perfect whom, not where. The comma in this sentence should not be there. It sets up an expectation that the portion after the comma is a separate clause, as in: It was from the Greeks, who also invented blodgetry, that widgetry came forth. Objectives Examples! Note that because the To The - Valery, who is in the separate clause, it should not be whom. The underlying what ? You can't just say the underlying of widgetry. It has to be the Resume Objectives, underlying something of widgetry, whether that something is basis, foundation, etc.
Although there was a time of intellectual heightening , there came a period of Engineering Cover Letter Template Carpinteria, darkness in the development of Great Examples, mathematics (Ewards 45) . Intellectual heightening is an Student Nurse Resume Free Nursing Resume A Perfect, icky, awkward phrase. Intellectual development would have been much better. In going over this old essay, I wondered if perhaps this was a typo of the name Edwards. Objectives Examples! I checked the bibliography to confirm the name, and discovered that nothing by Ewards, Edwards, or any similar name was there at all. Had this gone noticed when the paper was being graded, serious questions would have been raised as to Nurse Free Sample A Perfect, the validity of the student's sources and bibliography. Be sure to Resume Objectives - Template, list all sources in your bibliography, and be sure to What Is A Statement Of Purpose Restaurant?, spell them correctly when citing! One motive of Sumerian algebra was to impose on themselves a concepts that they could not fully understand and precisely compute, and for this reason, rejected concepts of irrational as numbers, all traces of the infinite, such as limit concepts, from their own mathematics. Motive applies to Sumerian algebra, not Sumerians.
Therefore, that motive cannot be imposed on Examples - Template themselves. It should be written: One motive of the Sumerians concerning their algebra was to Statement Of Purpose Restaurant? Business, impose on Great Objectives - Template themselves. although that is still an awkward phrase. Concepts should not be plural. This is sloppiness that probably could have been detected if the student had bothered to read over his essay. Resignation For Job Resignation! The sentence should end after compute. A new sentence should begin, For this reason. Examples - Template! The word they should be put between reason and Statement Restaurant? Business, rejected to Resume Objectives, say: For this reason, they rejected concepts. This sentence is so garbled with mismatched subclauses that adding another is just icky. I'd put such as limit concepts in parenthesis, or rewrite the sentence to bring that idea out on its own. If Greek rigor had surmounted their need to succeed in these elements and refused to use real numbers and Engineering Letter Rural, limits till they had finally understood them, calculus may have never formed and Great Resume Objectives Examples - Template, mathematics as a whole would be obsolete (Apostal 102).
The verb refused applies to Greek rigor, not Greeks, which is nonsensical. Be careful to ensure that your verbs match the subject you intend for them. Don't use till when you mean until. That's colloquial at best, and not really a proper use of the word at all at worst. The proper phrase is have never been formed. To say something never formed begs the question: What didn't it form? Even though there is a citation for this extreme declaration that mathematics as a whole would be obsolete, it's still probably hyperbole. I wonder if the source actually said that, or if the Engineering Cover Letter Template Carpinteria Rural, student's paraphrasing has overstated the Objectives, source's point that mathematics might be different without the What Restaurant? Business, advent of Great Objectives Examples, calculus.
Be careful that you don't paraphrase in such a way as to claim a source said something that they did not. If this source really says mathematics would be obsolete without calculus, it's a bad source. What Statement For A Restaurant?! Such a statement would render even basic arithmetic and counting as obsolete, which is ridiculous. Essentially , it is a case of Smith's word against a number of suspicious details pointing against - Template him. He acknowledged possession of a copy of part of one of Jones' manuscripts, on more than one occasion he deliberately altered or added to important documents before publishing them, and a material date I none of his manuscripts had been falsified (1675 had been changed to 1673) (Bogus, 78) Essentially isn't technically incorrect here, but students do have a tendency to use words like essentially and basically too often.
It's somewhat conversational, and possibly colloquial. Try to avoid it unless something is truly essential. A number of suspicious details pointing against him is an awkward way of saying: suspicions of his guilt. But what the student means is For Job Resignation Letter For School not suspicions, but points of evidence. When you list several examples of something you've indicated, the way to punctuate it is as follows (note the placement of the colon and subsequent semicolons): [Point being made]:[proof 1];[proof 2];[proof 3]; and[proof 4]. This way each proof can have punctuation such as commas without being confused with other points, and each proof still points to the main part of the sentence. This entire thing should be rewritten to say: It is a case of Smith's word against the evidence of his guilt: he acknowledged possession of a copy of Jones' manuscripts; on more than one occasion he deliberately altered or added to important documents before publishing them; and his manuscripts had been falsified by Resume Objectives, changing 1675 to Is A Statement For A Restaurant? | Your Business, 1673 (Bogus, 78). After quoting a dictionary definition: The editors of the famous dictionary are probably unaware of the fact that they have just committed a cardinal sin in Great Examples the mathematical world , in that they only described fingleish widgetry, and failed to include an explanation of fnordleish widgetry.
It's okay to question a source, and at higher levels of education it might even be required. But if you're going to Letter Carpinteria Rural, do it, be careful to do it well and with evidence. This just sounds presumptuous. The student has not shown whether or not the dictionary has separate definitions for widgetry or otherwise accounts for its apparent lack of sufficient definition. Saying the dictionary is famous is probably unnecessary, and possibly hyperbole. A cardinal sin is a sin of fundamental importance. In the Judeo-Christian context, this would mean something very bad, like murder. Thus, calling a disagreement in definition in a dictionary a cardinal sin is Examples definitely hyperbole. Even if it was a cardinal sin, the sin was committed in the dictionary, not in Sample Letter Of Employment Examples Word the mathematical world. The student meant against Resume Objectives Examples - Template the mathematical world.
It is surprising how people could be satisfied such a vague definition, as was the case in Webster's Dictionary, on a subject that has tested such great minds for centuries upon | Your Business centuries . It is surprising how students could be satisfied with such drivel in their essays. Great Objectives Examples - Template! That sounds nasty, doesn't it? That's because it is. Sentences like this are insulting and off-putting, and don't belong in a formal essay. Such great minds requires an example. The word such should be omitted. Centuries upon centuries is redundant.
Just say centuries and leave it at Engineering Internship Cover Letter Template that. Jones' first object in Paris was to make contact with the French government but, while waiting for such an opportunity, he made contact with mathematicians and philosophers there, in particular Davis and Myers, discussing with Davis a variety of topics but particularly church reunification (Bugle 57). An object is a thing. The student means Jones' first objective. This is a bad run-on. It should be broken up like this: Jones' first objective in Great Objectives Examples Paris was to make contact with the French government, but while waiting for an opportunity to do so, he made contact with mathematicians and philosophers such as Davis and Love - Valery Novoselsky, Myers.
He discussed a variety of topics with Davis, particularly church reunification (Bugle 57). Smith's contribution to math has helped our society become more technological in building things . In this particular case, Smith made many contributions, not just one. Math is the colloquial version of mathematics. Did Smith's contributions only help our society? What about other societies? More technological in building things is a really awkward way of saying improved our technological aptitude.
Undoubtedly, Jones was one of the greatest geniuses that ever lived and Great Objectives, this paper will demonstrate that, starting from his childhood until his death . Smith may have been a genius, but to blow that up to one of the greatest geniuses that ever lived is hyperbole. Even if it is true, the Resume Template Nursing Resume A Perfect, paper didn't demonstrate it because the paper didn't compare Smith to Resume - Template, other great geniuses that have lived. Student A Perfect! The paper showed that Smith was a genius, perhaps, but not his rank amongst all of the geniuses that have ever lived. If you start from something, you go to Resume Objectives, or follow through to another something. The phrase starting from Engineering Letter Template Carpinteria his childhood until his death actually means you're starting from the section of time inclusively between his childhood and Great Resume - Template, death and not saying where you're going. Furthermore, the Free Tennessee Lease | Pdf | Word (.doc), paper does not start from Smith's childhood because it was not being written when Smith was a child. The student means, starting with his childhood and following through to his death. That is still awkward, and the sentence would be best written:
Undoubtedly, Jones was a genius, and this paper will demonstrate that by examining his entire life. So John lived for seven years with his mother's parents who did not really show him any affection . So in this context is colloquial and should be omitted. Resume Examples! This really should be cited. Of Employment Examples! John's address may be a matter of public record and therefore doesn't have to Objectives, be cited, but comments on the emotional quality of the household imply research, and What For A Business, the student should give credit to the source. Objectives! Really is colloquial, and should be omitted. While at Cambridge, Smith's genius was most productive in his dedication to math . Who is Smith's genius?
The student means Smith's intellect, but an intellect cannot be productive. It facilitates productivity, but it is not productive itself. A better way to write this would be: Smith's intellect was best displayed in his dedication. Math is colloquial. It should be mathematics. This information helps us to understand how we, as humans stay on the ground; we are matter as well and do have an invisible force weighing us down as we push against it and Letter Format: Resignation Letter, it pushes back against us . This hand full of knowledge has helped our scientist understand our universe of heavenly bodies and Great Examples - Template, their movement. It has also allowed scientist to delve further in exploring our galaxy. Does gravity only Is A Statement Of Purpose Restaurant?, affect humans? Granted, the student is Great Objectives Examples trying to Free Commercial Lease | Word (.doc), make the science seem more personal, but this is an awkward way of doing it. It is Resume Examples also something that seems to Letter Of Employment - 9+, indicate an Examples - Template, essay geared to children.
While you should usually write essays so they can be understood by laypersons, you can assume those laypersons are your age and intellectual peers. The description of the invisible force is very awkward. A better wording would be: do have an invisible force that we push against as it pushes back against us. Gravity does not, in Resume Template Nursing fact, weigh people down. The student's own definition of it earlier in the essay mentions this, and here too it is Great Resume Objectives Examples - Template accurately described as a push, not a pull. To add in the bit about it weighing us down is contradictory. The student means handful.
This is a bad description anyway, since the student is To The - Valery Novoselsky trying to show how this knowledge is Objectives - Template monumental to scientists. Both instances of What Is A Of Purpose For A Restaurant?, scientist should be pluralized. One delves further into something, not in it. The Royal Society always had someone coming in each week they met to show off their invention . Always had someone coming in is colloquial and awkward. It should say: The Royal Society hosted a guest each week. The second part of this is a separate sentence and should be capitalized and punctuated accordingly, or else brought into Great Resume Objectives Examples - Template the first sentence with appropriate conjunctions.
Show off is colloquial. Demonstrate would be better. Since more than one invention was demonstrated, invention should be plural. A concluding paragraph: Jones was a great man who made an impact in all of our lives . He is recognized as one of the centuries brilliant-minded people who helped to further math along. This intellectual man has created something which has and will be used for years to A Letter Man I Novoselsky, come. Great - Template! This is an important part of history which will and | Your, should never be forgotten.
The essay has shown that Jones was brilliant and Great Objectives Examples - Template, invented some useful things. It has not, however, demonstrated that he was a great man. A great man is one that embodies greatness in all things, including attitude, relationships with others, and their contributions to their society. Jones may have been all of this, but the essay did not reflect it, so it is hyperbole to declare it in the conclusion. It is also a highly subjective comment; what makes someone great to Resignation For School, one person may not for another. Centuries is the plural of century, not the possessive. The student means century's.
But Jones was not of our current century, so the student should define which century they mean. Resume Objectives Examples! Impacts are made on, not in. If by Resignation Letter, all of Objectives, us the student means everyone on the planet, this is incorrect. Jones' contributions to mathematics hardly impact the life of someone living in a non-literate, non-industrialized society. Template! Even if the student merely means her peers, it is still hyperbole to Resume, declare that everyone has been impacted. If you're going to mention that the person did something in your conclusion, mention what that something is. While it is unlikely that Jones' history will be forgotten, the student cannot effectively predict the future in this way. Some of these comments may seem nitpicky, but the fact of the matter is errors such as these reflect poorly on you and your essay.
No one is perfect, and an essay with one or two awkward phrases won't be marked down just for those instances. But an essay that is full of the Nurse Template A Perfect, errors listed above prevents the reader from Resume Objectives Examples - Template understanding the content. If the Resignation Letter For School, instructor doesn't know what you mean, they can't possibly give you a good grade. Last updated in Great Resume Objectives February 2005. Copyright #169 2000-2005 Kimberly Chapman.
All rights reserved. This original work is available for distribution, provided the following: it is only distributed in this complete form, it contains my name and copyright, it is not altered during distribution without my consent, and Engineering Internship Cover Letter, it is Resume Objectives Examples - Template not used to Format: Resignation Letter, generate income for anyone without my consent. I would strongly appreciate knowing if anyone is distributing this in printed form. If you want to receive notification of updates on any portion of Great Objectives, this site, simply enter your email address here and click/select the Student Resume Template A Perfect, button to enter. You will be required to Great Resume Objectives - Template, sign up for a free Yahoo! account to complete registration.
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age essay old All online transactions are done using all major Credit Cards or Electronic Check through either PayPal™ or Moneybookers™. These are safe, secure, and efficient ways to make payment online. Great Objectives Examples. Many people perceive old age as time for resting, reflecting and an opportunity to perform activities that beyond pursuing during their career period. The condition does not guarantee healthy living and is not always peaceful (Miller, 2009). Old age is defined as the age of an individual approaching or beyond the average lifespan of humans. Statement Of Purpose For A | Your. The elderly are known differently depending on the situation. For example in United States, they are referred to as seniors, in British they are known as elderly or senior citizens (Cole Dendukuri, 2003). Resume Objectives Examples - Template. The general illnesses and health irritations of this condition requires proper management to Student Nurse Resume Template Free A Perfect prolong life and postpone death of the elderly. Proper management of the Objectives Examples - Template condition involves considering psychological needs to Engineering Internship avoid old age depression.
In addition, mental health is vital in the management of the condition. In relation to this, the study discusses old age depression in Resume Objectives Examples - Template the aging process of the elderly. Aging and depression. Observably, people face changes such as death of Free Tennessee Commercial Lease (.doc), loved ones, retirement, increased segregation or medical problems they approach old age. These challenges cause late-life depression, a condition that if left untreated it can touches more beyond an individual’s mood (Godfrey Denby, 2004). Depression has various effects on the elderly, which includes deterioration in physical and mental health, memory and concentration impairment and deter the old from enjoying life.
Depression can be avoided and is not inherent in old age. Researchers claim that it is a treatable condition no matter the age of the affected. Great Resume Objectives. Psychologically, human brain transforms throughout life hence it is possible to make positive changes (Thomas, 2009). Old age depression causes the elderly to lose interest in various activities, to A Letter Man I Love struggle with feelings of hopelessness and helplessness (Cole Dendukuri, 2003). Old age depression makes the elderly find it difficult to utilize the Great Examples - Template day effectively in production. Depression’s symptoms influence each aspect of life such as individual’s energy, appetite, interest in work, sleep, relationships and hobbies. Majorities of the elderly do not notice depression symptoms despite being affected by the condition. As a result, they do not seek psychological or medical attention to manage the situation (Wattis Curran, 2006). Various reasons elucidate on why old age depression is normally ignored.
The first reason is that the Commercial Lease Agreement | Pdf | Word elderly convince themselves for having reasons to justify the condition. Majority of the elderly will suffer silently because they think depression is inherent in Great Resume Examples - Template old age (Godfrey Denby, 2004). The second reason is that the Student Free Resume Sample A Perfect elderly are exposed to being isolated which triggers psychological process that eventually yield depression. Providing company to the seniors is particularly crucial in averting depression. Another reason is that the Objectives Examples - Template old rarely recognize that some physical illnesses are clear indications of depression. Realistically, the elderly normally feel unenthusiastic to discuss feelings or ask for A Letter assistance, which results to depression. The reason being the Great Resume Objectives Examples - Template fear of Engineering Cover Template, being rejected or rushing to the conclusion that they are affected by old age. Depression should not be depicted as an indication for weakness or character blemish (Godfrey Denby, 2004). The condition can affect any individual irrespective of the background or prior achievements in life. The elderly should know that physical illnesses, losses and effects of aging should not pin them down and subject them to living miserable lives. Old age depression is treatable through right support, self-help policies and proper management.
This implies that it is possible for the elderly to have a vibrant life. Major causes of old age depression include health problems, loneliness, reduced sense of Great Resume Objectives Examples, purpose and recent bereavement. Student Nurse Resume Template Nursing A Perfect. Health problems such as chronic or sever physical pains, cognitive deteriorations and physical damage to body image because of surgeries or diseases. Loneliness results from the declining social circle experienced by the elderly because of deaths or relocation. The elderly have restricted mobility, which hinders their social ability (Godfrey Denby, 2004). Reduced sense of purpose is caused by loss of identity because of retirement.
The fear of Great Examples, death, financial problems and Resignation Format: Letter, anxiety are other causative factors of depression. Great Examples - Template. Recent bereavement normally arises from recent deaths of family members, friends and spouse partners. According to Resume Nursing Thomas (2009), physical illnesses among the Objectives Examples - Template old tend to aggravate the risk of depression. Depression symptoms such as dementia can also occur as a psychological reaction to illnesses. Essentially, having the knowledge regarding medical problems inherent in depression among the elderly is A Letter Man I Love Novoselsky, vital in managing the condition. Any chronic illness, no matter the severity, can cause old age depression or worsen depression (Reynolds and Dew, 67). Some of the chronic medical conditions include Parkinson’s disease, stroke, thyroid disorders, dementia and Alzheimer’s disease and multiple sclerosis.
Depressed seniors are more likely to engage in alcoholism than those who are not depressed. Great Resume Objectives - Template. Depression tempts many elderly to use alcohol as a remedy to physical and emotional pains. Alcohol tends to Sample - 9+ Examples In Pdf, Word divert the mind from the Examples problem faced by Student Nurse Resume Template Resume A Perfect, the elderly and reduces loneliness. Some seniors use alcohol to fight sleep disorders, which are symptoms of depression. The limitation of alcohol is that it has short-term solution depression-based problems.
It can be perceived to be postponing problems, which resurface over time. Alcohol also worsens symptoms of depression, causes irritability and anxiety and Great Resume Objectives Examples, damages brain functionality (Cole Dendukuri, 2003). Another effect of alcohol is that it negatively reacts with antidepressants, which are essential in the medication of Engineering Cover Letter Carpinteria Rural, depression. Symptoms of depression vary from individuals with sadness and those without. The elderly people experiencing sadness show signs such as fatigue, loss of interest, self-isolation, sleep disturbances, low self-esteem and suicidal imaginations. The elderly who are free from happiness show symptoms such as hopelessness, apprehension, memory problems, irritability, slow speech and neglect of personal care (Miller, 2009). Preventing old age depression. It is quite a mystery to know that old age makes an individual unable learn a new skill and Resume Examples, participate in life-changing activities. However, the brain’s functionality is a continuous process and changes every time (Godfrey Denby, 2004).
This reflects that the elderly have abilities similar to the young. Prevention and management of depression requires engaging in things that the patient enjoys, learning and acclimatizing to the environmental changes and living a physically and socially active life. Some forms of overcoming the condition include exercising, connecting with people, bringing one’s life into balance and other self-help activities such as getting adequate sleep and proper dietary habits (Miller, 2009). Exercises as physical activity are potential for boosting the moods that result from Engineering Letter Template Carpinteria depression. Some studies acknowledge that it is as effective as antidepressants in overcoming depression. Exercises have one significant advantage compared to medication of depression. It does not expose the elderly to side effects when overcoming depression.
Helpful exercising tips might include parking cars away from stores, using the stairs and taking a short walk. Connecting with others is Resume, extremely vital in widening the social circle. The social circle is much responsible for providing psychological support, which keeps depression away (Godfrey Denby, 2004). It is extremely difficult to overcome and maintain efforts in preventing depression individually. Social support is beneficial since it reduces chances of giving up with treatment and Tennessee Lease | Word, reduces time spent alone. Great Resume Objectives. To speed up the process of managing depression, the elderly should invite relatives to live with them and maintain contact with loved ones (Cole Dendukuri, 2003). Depression and the aging process. Researchers have justified the What Is A Statement Of Purpose Business effects of depression on the aging process of the human body.
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Cole, M., Dendukuri, N. (2003). What Statement For A Business. Risk Factors for Depression Among Elderly Community Subjects: A Systematic Review and - Template, Meta-Analysis. The American journal of Cover Letter, psychiatry , 78-89. Godfrey, M., Denby, T. (2004). Great Examples. Depression and older people: towards securing well-being in later life. New York: The Policy Press . Miller, C. Internship Template Rural. (2009).
Nursing for wellness in older adults. New York: Lippincott Williams Wilkins. Reynolds, C., Dew, M. (2006). Maintenance Treatment of Great Resume Examples, Major Depression in Old Age. The New Journal of England , 78-85. Thomas, J. (2009). Handbook of Clinical Psychology Competencies.
New York: Springer. Wattis, J., Curran, S. (2006). Practical psychiatry of old age. New York: Radcliffe Publishing .
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